Runner's High

Running is an exhilarating experience.

I have been running (short distances/combo with walking) on and off since 2003. Never thought I can run long distances. Let's face it, building up endurance for running long distances is a torture. I have tried and given up so many times before. But it's my dream to run for (half) marathon at least once in my lifetime, and that dream keeps coming back again and again.
This year, as I started to make some serious changes in my life, the dream came back to me. I decided to push my limits, see if I can do what I never did before. (I have been training since November) Come 2016, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. I started with running on treadmill and slowly building up my endurance (I am a slow walker and a slow runner still) then when the weather finally improved I started running outside. Believe me people, once you get used to running outside, you would never ever want to go back inside the gym.

I have started running up to 7-8k, still have a long long way to go and loads of motivation to keep me running. I have written about running before, but now I want to write about something called "Runner's high".I was telling my colleague about my great joy of actually being able to do distance running. "Of course", she said, "it about the hormones". That got me curious, so I asked "Baba Googleswar" (as I would do for anything under the sun). The answer that I got was "Runner's high".

So what's Runner's high?
According to wiki: "Continuous exercise can produce short-term euphoria, an affective state associated with feelings of profound contentment, elation, and well-being, which is colloquially known as a "runner's high" in distance running or a "rower's high" in rowing".

According to this website: "Many runners have had the opportunity to experience a state of euphoria while running. While the actual state that they feel varies immensely for each individual there is a common feeling associated with the term "runner's high".

And here is how some other runners describe their experience.

As for me, even a long walk is therapeutic and meditative. It clears my thoughts, literally helps to "defragment" my mind like a computer, calms me down and mostly acts like a sponge which soaks in all the negativity and helps bring in happy memories. But running is a different beast. It has to be harnessed first, in order, for me to ride it. And so, as I lasso the bull, bring it down to its knees, I get an extraordinary sense of accomplishment and happiness.

Runner's high is a state of pure bliss. It's like being in a bubble, when everything around me looks fresh and beautiful, world seems to be a better place, all my troubles evaporate, voices inside my head tells me that everything is perfect now, running seems like walking in a park, and I am smiling, for I remember all the good things that has happened to me or is going to happen. I am tired, but I can still jump with joy, run, hop, skip or even tap dance like Fred Astaire. I can even defy gravity and float if I want to. And it lasts a long time. I usually run in the evenings, after office, and the afterglow lasts till the next morning. But then I am generally a happy person, small things make me laugh.

Runner's high is caused by the release of chemicals in the brain like the endorphins,
cannabinoids etc, which helps deal with the physical pain and acts like morphine or even like being high on drugs. And it's addictive too. I am tempted to run every day ( I am not supposed to run more than thrice a week to prevent injuries).

So there goes my experience on running. I am but a blip in the runner's universe. I still have a long long way to go.

So I shall end this post by describing how I got into running in the first place. I was never so much interested in sports as I was in classical dancing. In my 3rd year of architecture, I had a terrible road accident, which got me several smaller injuries and a major facture in my right wrist. So, with my right hand in plaster for 3-4months, I had ample time and nothing to do (well, I got an extension for all the term submissions). After a month all my other injuries healed, but with my plastered hand I was bored. So I started to get up early morning to trek up Ferguson Hill. It was a good exercise and the view was excellent. I met many early morning joggers, runners, sports addicts. After I got rid of the plaster, I began to run uphill. So that's how I turned my negatives into my positives. Well, that was then. As I moved to USA, I tried running, but was never consistent.
Until this year, I decided to turn my long forgotten dream into reality and put all my focus and determination into getting back everything that I have lost.
With running, I got back more. I got back that awesome feeling, "Yes, I can do it" or rather "Yes Yes Yes, I I I can can can do do do it it it!!!.....(that's just my brain on runner's high).
PS: I just came back from running.
I am grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Bring out the big guns. I can handle it.

Other Website to look at :

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/new-brain-effects-behind-runner-s-high/

http://www.atrailrunnersblog.com/2005/01/understanding-runners-high.html
Image Source: http://quotesgram.com/quotes-about-runners-high/

 

Ironman Philosophy

If Ironman says it, it must work....

 

My obsession with Superheroes (especially those by DC/Marvel Comics) have been persistent over the years. I have written about them before -

Self and Its Nemesis , What kind of Superhero would you be? ,

I don't tend to shift loyalties too often, but now, after so many years, Ironman has actually replaced Batman as my favourite no. uno.

(Chris Nolan and Christian Bale really made Batman awesome, but when it comes to Ben Affleck , officially the throne as been siezed by the eternal bad boy of Hollywood - Robert Downey Jr.)

And here's why I think Ironman is cooler than Batman -

1. Batman is a psychological mess who gets swallowed by misery very now and then. Bruce Wayne is a reclusive character, who prefer to suffer in silence. Ironman deals with it. For, all his womanizing ways, and alcoholism, he is the one with the guts to come out in public.

 

2. For once, I think Tony Stark's Armor Suit is way way cooler than standard superhero body suit of Batman ( and the cape is an outdated technology).

 

3. Tony Stark lives because of a magnetic chest plate, yet, he is not afraid to reveal his identity to the world.

 

4. Both Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne inherited huge empires, weapons in case of Ironman. Both make good use of technology, but Ironman builds them on his own (he made his Armor Suit to escape from his kidnappers, whereas, Batman hires a team to design for him. Every time, Batman goes into his underground technology lab, Morgan Freeman presents him with a state-of-the-art gadget.)

 

5. Bruce Wayne took years to perfect his technology, traveling around the world to learn the best combat skills, Tony Stark had a day to come up with a strategy to escape and still manages to say "I'd better not get shot in the face".

6. Ironman is the founding member of the superhero team The Avengers. Batman works alone, despite of Robin's occasional appearance, he is a loner.

7. Tony Stark has a good sense of humour and a secretary called Virginia "Pepper" Potts. Bruce Wayne has Alfred.

 

8. Batman stands on higher moral grounds. But let's face it, his obsession with righteousness is a bit over the top and ridiculous. Ironman owns an arms and weapon industry. But he can deal with collateral damage, (as he calls it "Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy").

 

9. As much as I like the Bat-mobile, Ironman's Armor Suit - cyborg exoskeleton with self-contained environment, assorted, gadgets, weapons, communication systems and repulsor flight system, functioning like Stark's Second Skin is awesome.

10. Last but not the least, Batman has an array of super-villains who are impressive characters themselves and they share stage with our superhero. Ironman is not always on the right side or the right frame of mind, but he takes the center stage.

But, if you still don't like my arguments, please check out what this website has to say -

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-ways-iron-man-objectively-better-than-batman/

 

On power of photography in making memories

Living in Blacksburg inspired many hobbies.

"A drinking town with a football problem" as my roommate called the place. I called it "a planet within a planet". For Blacksburg "was" like "The Lost World" (Arthur Conan Doyle) or like "The Village" (M. Night Shyamalan) where time stands still and is unchanged. All clocks stop when you reach Blacksburg and then tick away, slowly and lazily.
But that was back in 2005-2008.
I haven't been to that place ever since, although I would love to visit it one day. The place hold much sentimental value for me as it does for all my friends I made there.
But getting back to hobbies in Blacksburg, (so now that I have established that there was nothing much else to do) my interest for photography and writing started from Blacksburg. Blessed with an inspiring group of friends, a steady hand, loads of time, beautiful Blue-ridge Mountain as my subject  and a digicam (ordinary Pentax) , I just "clicked away".
But, I was a mere amateur then, excited by my new toy and a irresistible desire to show off.
And like all "wannabes" I took tons of pictures, post processed them (hey, I am an architect, can't resist the temptation of morphing images in Photoshop, Illustrator etc.) It brought me all the accolades I wanted, my roommate who would send me hundreds of links of photo competitions (which she did, only because of her love and approval of what I did).
Now, as I look at the pictures in my photo blog, I don't really see the need for such garish, over-saturated images (which is why I called the blog- ostentatious reality), I only see the place, the time, the emotional value of the picture. The power of photography is not in the slick camera angles, not in the crisp post processing, or in any other technical accuracy - they are all gimmicks. The real power of photography lies in capturing the moment and in making memories.

After my last cammie broke, didn't really bother to buy another. For now, my phone camera does a good enough job, but, if I ever return to photography, this time, I would get an old film camera, I would learn how to process and print photographic films in a dark room and take pictures that are totally imperfect and absolutely real. Maybe, I would just take black and white photographs (something that has more depth in it, than a splash of colours). Learn how a pin-hole camera works.

Digicam or DSLR doesn't hold any value for me, it's an over-used and boring medium (since you can take so many pictures and choose the best later, its rarely a heartfelt one and the challenge of capturing the real moment is lost). Unless of course its sports or wildlife photography, which will require technical tools and skills(something with a fast autofocus, adjustable shutter speed, telephoto lens, my steady hand and willingness to risk it all for the sake of a picture).

 

So that's Blacksburg for you in a nutshell, (for those who haven't lived there)
A great place to start off. A home away from home in foreign lands. Bonds of friendship. And loads of pictures to remember it all.

A link to my old photo blog (for the sake of nostalgia) -

http://ostentatiousreality.aminus3.com/

 

On Peace of Mind and Power of Forgiveness

There goes a popular saying -When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade. I'd say, add vodka to it instead of water and drink up. Neat.
Easier said than done.....huh
Nothing really prepares us for the worst challenges in life except for these two irreplaceable/ invaluable things -

1. Peace of Mind

2. Power of Forgiveness

If I had to describe myself and my life before 2008 in one word I'd say SMUG. I had / got everything I ever wanted - good grades, getting into good architecture school, over indulgent parents, amazing set of friends, understanding professors- all in all, an over protected life that knows no defeat. I bet, French aristocracy, before the French Revolution felt the same way before their heads rolled down the guillotine.

Post 2008 (recession), had been a turbulent time, not just for me, but for all my friends and almost everyone I know. It was the worst time to graduate. The years that followed, I spend a lot of time looking at my own problems, trying to find out why things didn't work. And when none of  my strategies worked, I did what I would usually do, under such circumstances,- "shoot in the dark, hoping to hit the mark".
This was followed by an acute sense of inadequacy, that somehow I failed my parents as I have failed to rise to the occasion. Suddenly, I was in a mad rush to prove myself, to make up for the losses. I worked harder than I ever worked in my life with a single-minded purpose - to learn as much as possible in the shortest possible time. That means, working min 12-13hrs almost every day in the office, going to office on weekends, bringing my work home with me to discuss with my Father (who is also an architect).
I remember having sat with my Father, with books and drawings, asking him again and again and he going over it patiently with me. "You have to be patient, you cannot learn Architecture so fast, it's a knowledge that only comes from years of working and experience" he would say. But I wasn't listening. What takes years, I must learn in months, or even days. By putting this impossible aim before me, I was frustrated even more. All the self-imposed exile from the real world into the world of trying-to-do-everything-at-once, did fuel my career and get me the jobs I wanted. But, in trying to get back every materialistic thing I wanted, I did not realize that I had lost my peace of mind.
For years to come, I only looked at what I didn't have, rather than what I had already achieved. And even when I got what I "didn't have", I would be afraid to lose it again. We all know what happens when you hold grains of sand tightly in your fist - they slip away. So slipped away my peace and my happiness. Gone  was the spontaneous laughter, or any other activities that made me happy - writing, painting, photography, keeping in touch with friends and well-wishers, impromptu singing to Hindi movie tunes, dancing to raunchy item songs or simply goofing around.
Today, I realize that it should have been the other way round, if only I had worked on getting my peace of mind, everything else would have followed, things would have fallen into place eventually. If only I had not tried to fix things that needed no fixing.
Another thought that I wanted to share is that of the Power of Forgiveness. We all know that we need to forgive people who have wronged us, thus releasing ourselves from the hold they have over our thoughts.
But I want to write more about forgiveness in love and relationships. In my opinion they go hand in hand. No man is an island and we learn who/what we truly are only through our relationships. And this is what I learnt from mine. Every relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) stands on our desire to forgive. Every day we must learn to forgive our loved ones, same as our loved ones are trying to forgive us.
Its the hardest part.
Especially, with so many things (ego, pride, anger, outside world, life etc) and ourselves coming in the way. It is so easy to find fault in others and it's so difficult to see our own dark side. Especially with the knowledge that people are fallible. Especially, when no one is asking for forgiveness.
It is essential that we forgive our loved ones quickly, easily and unconditionally. No one is right all the time, no one is wrong all the time. But if the person matters, the relationship is worth the trouble, then nothing should stop us from forgiving. For, after the passion fades, only thing that remains is two people who have seen the best and worst side of each other and yet chosen to remain together and forgiven each other, despite of all the idiosyncrasies.
And that is true love - one that is unconditional and remains till the end.  
Every thing else just comes and goes.

So, peace and forgiveness are interdependent. If there is no peace, the simple act forgiveness becomes harder and harder. And if there is no forgiveness, there is no peace. Yet, we need both. Above all, we need to learn to love unconditionally and let go.

“Pursue not the outer entanglements; Dwell not in the inner void; Be serene in the oneness of things; And dualism vanishes by itself.” - Seng-t'san.

Damn it Damon - You've done it again

Matt Damon happens to be one of my favourite actors. I find him different in many ways and certainly hotter than any of the conventional good-looking hunks of Hollywood like George Clooney , Tom Cruise etc. Maybe because some of his movies are my all time favourites (Good Will Hunting, The Martian, Talented Mr Ripley, True Grit, Bourne series, Ocean Eleven series). Maybe because he portrays characters with intelligence (brains rather than brawn). Or maybe because, even though, he doesn't really stand out, he makes his presence felt.

So there are some of his movie quotes that i like -

The Martian (people read the book)

Mark Watney: So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong.
Mark Watney: In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.
Mark Watney: At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?
Mindy Park: Uh... He asked us to call him Captain Blondebeard.
Mark Watney: Yeah, I get to go faster than any man in the history of space travel, because you're launching me in a convertible.
Mark Watney: If the oxygenator breaks down, I'll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I'll die of thirst. If the Hab beaches, I'll just kind of implode. If none of those things happen. I'll eventually run out of food and starve to death. So yeah. I'm fucked.

Good Will Hunting

Sean McGuire: So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you’d probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, “once more unto the breach dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I’d ask you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, ’cause it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you… I don’t see an intelligent, confident man… I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You’re an orphan right? … You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

 Will:I have 12 big brothers.

Skylar:You do not have 12 brothers.
Will:I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm lucky 13 right here.
Skylar:Do you know all their names?
Will:Do I... yeah they're my brothers.
Skylar:What are they called?
Will:Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar:Say it again.
Will:Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar:
...and Willy.

Mike McDermott (Rounders):
"Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker."

To Curve a Bullet

I have to confess that I love watching stylized action movies.

As a woman I am supposed to love rom coms and I do if there is enough humour in it, but it's the stylized action movies that gives me the adrenaline rush.

Perhaps being an over dramatic person myself, the exaggerated, over the top, over-dramatized, larger than life movies really appeal to me. And Hollywood does make them in dozens and every time it's better than before in terms of special effects, dialogue, storytelling and action.

Out of the bunch, one movie that I really liked watching time and again is Wanted (2008). The story is pretty straightforward - an underdog's self- discovery . But the movie does have some super cool dialogues and moments. And of course, bending bullet sequence from the movie really intrigued me and I spend some time on google trying to find out if bullets can really curve. So, here are some of the movie quotes that I liked. Please excuse the over use of f-word, the message does not sink in without it.

 Wesley: Six weeks ago I was ordinary and pathetic. Just like you. Who am I now? An account manager, an assassin, just another tool that was mind fucked into killing his father. I'm all of these, and I'm none of these. Who am I now? This is not me fulfilling my destiny. This is not me falling in my fathers footsteps. This is definitely not me saving the world.

Sloan: Insanity is wasting your life as a nothing when you have the blood of a killer flowing in your veins. Insanity is being shit on, beat down, coasting through life in a miserable existence when you have a caged lion locked inside and a key to release it.

 Barry: Who's the man?

Wesley: [smashes a computer keyboard on Barry's face with the keys spelling "FUCK YOU" with one of his teeth and walks off] I'm the man!

 Sloan: It a choice, Wesley, that each of us must face: to remain ordinary, pathetic, beat-down, coasting through a miserable existence, like sheep herded by fate - or you can take control of your own destiny and join us, releasing the caged wolf you have inside. Our purpose is to maintain stability in an unstable world - kill one, save a thousand. Within the fabric of this world, every life hangs by a thread. We are that thread - a fraternity of assassins with the weapons of fate. This is the decision that lies before you now: the sheep, or the wolf. The choice is yours.

 

Fox: I want you to curve the bullet.

Wesley: How am I supposed to do that?

Sloan: [walking in] It's not a question of how. It's a question of what. If no one told you that bullets flew straight, and I gave you a gun and told you to hit the target, what would you do? Let your instincts guide you.

 The Repairman: I'm the Repairman.

Wesley: What do you repair?

The Repairman: A lifetime of bad habits.

 And my favourite one -

Wesley: This is me taking control from Sloane, from the fraternity, from Janice from billing reports, from ergonomic keyboards, from cheating girlfriends and sack a shit best friends. This is me taking back control of my life. What the fuck have you done lately?

 

ON Piku - How the apple does not fall far from the tree

I loved the movie Piku for two reasons.

Reason 1. - Every Bengali boy/girl has an embarrassing nick name, by which he/she is called "very fondly" at home. My nick name happens to be Piku. Before Bollywood and Hindi movies popularised the names "Riya" and "Piku" , I thought that my parents pulled the biggest joke on me by naming me Riya and subsequently giving me the nickname of Piku. I really didn't know which one was worst. This is what used to happen, when people asked me my name in the pre- popularized days -

Person - hi, what is your name?

Me - Riya.
Person - What???!!! ( too short to catch at a single hearing)
Me - RRRRIIIIYYYYYAAAAA
Person - Is that your real name??!!!
Me - (WTF) ya, it's my name. Riya
Person - ooooohhhhhhh, Riya, as in Riya Sen. (with a cheeky grin)
Me - (really mad at being compared to the  Dumbest Bong on earth). Nooooo......RRRRRIIIIYYYAAAA SSSAARRRKKEERR.
Person - (still laughing)

Well, my actual name was Atrayee Sarker, (for those who don't know Atrayee is a River in India) given to me at my birth. What made my parents switch to Riya? I have no idea.

And then to top it all, PIKU actually happens to be a boy's name. Yes, I have spent many days in my childhood being laughed at for been called Piku (sob sob). But Soojit Sarkar made it right for me and after all these years Piku seems to be even better than Riya. Especially, after my cousins and relatives have created many variations of Piku , such as Picklu, Pickli, Pixie, Pickles,  adding various degrees of love to it.

 

Reason 2. - Insanity runs in the family. It really does. Whatever you find something strange/ embarrassing/ irksome/ trying/ funny about your parents today is what you will become tomorrow. How I used to laugh at my Mom for cleaning all ready cleaned dishes hundred  times and mopping the floor thousand times. Well, now I do the same.  How I used to be amused at my Grandmom for collecting different soaps and storing them. It turns out, I have the same habit. How my Mom gets really angry with me, when I prefer to have my food in a bowl rather than a plate, and put all the different dishes together and just mix everything with rice. "It's an insult to my cooking, you never get the taste of anything, if you mix everything together", my Mom would say, then after a little while she'd add, "just like your grandmother you are".
And how very like my Dad, I would rather make a very lame joke in a serious situation than face it. How very like my Dad, I would rather laugh out loud at all the grand failures and sadness of my life, trying to lighten what is all ready sitting heavy in my heart. I would get so angry when my Dad would never take me seriously, and just keep laughing or make some really bad joke when I am telling him about my troubles. Now I know why, coz that is exactly what I do. Daddy was taking me very seriously, just not showing it and he was just saying don't worry, be happy. And so the list go on and on.
Getting back to Piku, even though Deepika's character is so different from mine , it struck a chord. Family always does. Sometimes annoying , sometimes irritating, sometimes hilarious,  but at all times a part of who we are.
For it is our biggest inheritance -  all the small traits that we inherit from our parents and grandparents and then pass on to our kids. For, it's all in the Jeans.